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between terminal gods

by loTH

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1.
Cry for me a river Cry for me a river What is the nature of my universe Sing for me sister I’ll go with sadness through the breaking glass With muting lips that stroked the stars We will take a ride through nowhere land Just for a while I want to hear Nothing but breath Last time to feel Again Cry for me river Sing for me now Cry for me a thunder Kill me now Kill me now WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited
2.
Don't give up I saw something in your eyes but now it's disappeared I know only fool's enslaved by meaningless words that hurt But your only good reason to refrain from this pain’s to be just a man Harmonise with art of making stormy clouds A sailor cannot permanently stand on solid ground the world is not enough to try all that graceful joys Silly boy Time’s at your command Don't give up your mind Just to walk out today like a first time Don't give up your mind Just to walk out today like a last time oh… Sweet taste of trees upon you And overthrow your steady senses But you‘ll get something more Light’s inlay falls in your eyes from velvet sky That step is leading you into the ocean’s calm Don't give up your mind Just to walk out today like a first time Don't give up your mind Just to walk out today like a last time WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited
3.
Painfull 02:42
Painfull You’ll run out They’re giving you some more time And bringing you down the line Selfish lover Stay behind the window pane Your Pain’s full of never-ending hate I know It’s clever to understanding what’s gone wrong Your Pain’s full of wishful thinking burnt out with fire You better stone your thoughts before they settle down for a while Your fight like crucifying mind That's made of thousand hideouts Rainy weather Stay behind the window frame Your Pain’s full of never-ending hate I know It’s bringing you towards madness You are all distraught Your Pain’s full of wishful thinking burnt out with fire You better stone your thoughts before they settle down for a while I’ll never lose my faith In you WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited
4.
Worth 03:09
Worth Touch my time – listen carefully Only pleasure you can give Touch my eyes and don’t forget Only we’ll find our dreams Escort me to my own heaven Rhythm of foxtrot is cutting space Like an idiot scared of everything Lamenting that you are not here Find Only we'll find our dreams Merrily flutters my soul like a kiss Clacking out my passion When my lips are your sisters in dweel Bodies always find themselves Find Only we'll find our dreams Without you the day is not a day Without you the night is not the same Without you my dream becomes a nightmare Without you I am a different man Find Only we'll find our dreams WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited
5.
Caro Svarta Rosa And so on for Thirty days till all the feelings were gone And so on for Many days till the whole sadness were gone Tired of so long journey to the setting sun Decided to take me away And so on for Rainy days after all the birds have flown north And so on for Gloomy days before all the roses were dry enough Tired of so long journey to the setting sun Decided to take me away Take me away WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited
6.
Let me die 03:08
Let me die To let me die for a while I want to desert my post Through ill fear of change Whole my unshakeable trust Now seems indeed to be strange Just split me into the lights To let me die for a while Dumfounded by this beautiful calm And let me die for this one time There was a multiply choice Some things did not go so well But I’m adoring new ones With infinite we will dwell Just split me into the lights To let me die for a while Dumfounded by this beautiful calm And let me die For this one time WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited
7.
System 03:11
System oh It’s all about your role that you have got from your system You feel a corresponding sense of pride with your weakness Try to find a mentor deep in mind to feel less insecure All the meaningless drops of salty time nibbled with a maple cube But no you won't You’ll never escape from the grasp of time It’s not your fault Trapped in a mirror neuron thoughts No you won't Leave all your silly worries behind I just need you close to me It’s all about the call upon the angels for prayers As validators of your stormy path in the star system You could literally turn back time and begin all over again Covering andromedian calm that will finally make you fly But no you won't You’ll never escape from the grasp of time It’s not your fault Trapped in a mirror neuron thoughts No you won't Leave all your silly worries behind I just need you close to me No you won't WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited
8.
Apparition 03:32
Apparition Common places are abounded by a disgrace Our words made of butterflies have escaped Even trees will testify against my secret birth Someday my homeless shred will rest underneath Cold hands that lifted up my constant absence Light breath will emptiness sing in silence Stay An asphyxiated apparition I don’t want to feel as if I’ve no control of myself I know that’s unreal Touch me with your naked heart again The middle tones were hanging on my empty faith I really couldn’t get the point if that was good or bad Enclosed by circle moods I’ve found this tart pain You will see how my light shined Try to understand Cold hands that lifted up my constant absence Light breath Will emptiness sing in silence Stay An asphyxiated apparition I don’t want to feel as if I’ve no control of myself I know that’s unreal Touch me with your naked heart again I don’t want to hear Every sentence has been spoken when And it was so clear You have sent me to the walk of never more WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited
9.
Moral Cold 04:11
Moral Cold You’ve never seen me tied with blazing knots Anxious about my fairytale half-life But now it’s time to face the lie You’ve never seen me tied with blazing knots Anxious about my fairytale half-life But now it’s time to face the lie But now it’s time to say good bye But now it’s time to face the lie Growing from cold and moral underground We can’t recall our life portrayed fraud You’ve never seen me cry But now I think you’ll understand All cymbals tinkling in a heart I’ve got a felling that’s the end My voice like tuneless clarinet I don't believe in accidents At all Growing from cold and moral underground We can’t recall our life portrayed fraud WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited
10.
Adelaide 04:28
Adelaide around you Don’t know but it's done My feelings are best expressed in a poem Whole days passed by our time Left us behind Half way into my war I forgot what I was really fighting for I hold my every breath Just count to ten So go on boy Let your soul spit it out We should start doing something to keep our short life Take me Lord from this pantomime from these Greek mimes of desire Surrounded by meaningless gestures full of our lies Trying hard to play that game again I know the rules I’ll do the best I can And please beware don't do like me just watch how people have accepted sins but inside it’s wrong And please beware don't think like me My naked wishes I'll let them free I've lost my precious words Adelaide please come with me The Bells were not ringing when i saw that smile The Sun wasn't going up or down Please honey charm me now What should I do when I feel so lonely again how can I live after those years we've been through Now every path seems to be like wilderness And all this time is just like a scar burnt deep in our soul What should I do when I feel so empty again It's so unreal I cannot sleep 'Cos my world is round it around you WARNING : All rights of the producer and of the owner of the recorded work reserved Unauthorized copying, public performance, broadcasting, hiring or rental of this recording prohibited

about

All songs written and arranged by loTH


loTH – voices

Marcin Kisiecki – Drums
Bartek Blumczynski – Keyboards, Pianos
Emanuel Nowak – Basses
Marcin Karel – Guitars, Piano


Produced by Loth and Bartek Magdoń except for “ Moral Cold” produced by Loth and Yoad Nevo at Nevo Audio Mastering Studios Unit 8 London, UK
Recorded at Recpublica Studios, between Feb. 26, 2012 and Sept. 19; 2014 Lubrza, and Zydram’s Studio, Wroclaw, Poland
Sound Producer Andrzej Karp, Sonus Studio, Warsaw
Enginer Assistant Michal Mashtal
Final mixes Bartek Magdoń, Intrepid Sound Hunters , Cracow, Lesser Poland

Pre-mixes Grzegorz Czachor, Tower Studio, Olawa, Poland
Pre-mixes by Yoad Nevo at Nevo Audio Mastering Studios Unit 8 London, UK
Art Directions,design and Photographs by Laredo at Laredo’s Studios, Poland
Cover Image “Venus Between Terminal Gods” by Aubrey Beardsley from “The Story of Venus and Tannhauser “ Reproduction permission The Higgins Bedford , Bedford, UK


To describe what I felt writing this album is to balance between kitsch, pathos and absurd. It is all terribly subjective. All in all however it shows the truth – my truth.

I was interested in a transition, in evidence of cyclical nature of certain events. Around me celestial and human bodies susceptible to feelings. Amongst them all – Venus, a goddess and a planet. On one hand we have an impalpable divine state which we are sometimes capable of experiencing. Identical to the one associated with communing with art; a condition of incoming, passing and fading away. On the other hand such a distinctly human state, strenuously tried and described by mankind.

Sometimes I would like to speak Norwid and Słowacki and yet it would not be enough to express what is inside me. Like Venus, sensual, magical, angry, lethal, beautiful, good and bad, boring and interesting, undiscovered and explored – capricious Venus. All passing and escaping into the void like a spot of a planet against the Sun, usually seen once in a human lifetime.

Apparent contradictions and inconsistencies of thoughts and emotions contained in this album give meanings to so many entities, sanctifying and multiplying them. It was an ambitious task to show the power and variability of human feelings and affection which I was never indifferent to and which mankind tries to explain looking up to the stars and the planets, searching for the rules in the inconceivable emptiness.

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you”. Nietzsche paints an image of loosing oneself in the immaterial subconsciousness which can bring dire consequences in reality. Like a real life story of a young man from my hometown which I tried to portray in Cry For Me River. This man, who for a while featured on front pages of the newspapers across the globe, was convicted after a circumstantial murder trial. The only evidence was the book he has written after allegedly killing his wife's lover.

In Don't Give Up Your Mind I could not resist the temptation of describing the fading of desire and moving on to ordinary life, far away from former extasies. Revealed are the outlines of a new sad truth stripped of emotions, the truth as frustrating as the lies spoken out by materialistic Venus . Descenting from the pedestal of adoration and changing the point of view from idealistic to realistic cases pangs of conscience and repulsion towards oneself. Even the darkest of the nights cannot shield one from this disgust.

Betrayal. The loss of a very special person can be like a punishment. Yet the pain it causes is nothing in comparison to fear of loneliness and nothingness of one's existance. In Apparition I attempt to excuse it with momentary forgetfulnessand drunken amnesia only yo call things by their names in Moral Cold. Here, however, I was interested in the gradual decomposition of the psyche, the psyche which was once immensly sure of its power and stability. It is hard to say if the awakening took place because of the remorse or accidently discovered truth. It is not easy to see one's good name torn into pieces.

In Let Me Die I came to accept that death is not the only final solution and there is hope. By forever seeking the fullfillment of our desires we torture our souls. There is hope we might learn not to hurt the others in the process.

Forget the impatience, forget the hatered towards the world that fills Painful. Being suspended, awaiting, anticipating seems like eternity. Anything would be better than being alone with one's thoughts. In the darkest hour we seek safety even at the cost of lying to ourselves. It is tempting to think that nothing can be done. This is it.
Again, the amplitude of emotions, one great grey mass of awaiting. And here in System a vision of lovers as a closed circle. For lovers a momentary madness has to be enough, even if, like in Worth, the cost of it might be too much and it seems so old fashioned.

What would be the alternative? Maybe to shout one's soul out, scream and confess, as it has been done in Adelaide. Can it really be that only by using oneself to make the other person whole again makes sense? Or maybe just give up and subordinate to the masses at the cost of own desires?

Only when I can give happiness I am truly happy myself. I have to admit though, sometimes even that is not enough. In CSR I recall the oath taken after a loss of a person very dear to me. I am still discovering this person in tiny signs of nature and random people. Sometimes sentences, sometimes voices coming back. And memories.


ALL SONG PUBLISHED BY MUSIC POLAND REPRESENTED BY ZYDRAMS MUSIC CORP. ALL RIGHT CONTROLLED BY ZAIKS/SPAV, INC

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released November 19, 2016

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